Lost in the past

I've been getting lost in the past tonight, and I've got to stop it and get to bed, which means I've got to blog about it a little so that my brain will go into sleep mode. There was that magic couple of years when everything was looking so nice, first with a fairly tale year in which we were actually having income instead of solid out go, followed by an expected "next chapter in our story." And then the storms blew in, and blew in, and blew in. We seem to be in a time of relative calm now, or at least a time of some other sort of disaster, but the storms have definitely taken their toll. During the calm, I began coming to terms with the realities of housekeeping, but only now some three years or more later am I beginning to feel up to it again. The biggest issue I'm realizing I have is an almost complete lack of positive routines. It's all about survival mode most of the time, with only occasional glimpses into the world of thriving. Those glimpses are powerful, though, and leave me just recharged enough to forget about doing whatever it was that helped me in the first place, leaving me back at the beginning again. I need routines, but it is very difficult to rebuild from my current level. Oh well. I guess that's what baby steps are for.